Hello readers! I hope each of you have had a wonderful start to the new year and wish you all the best this year! Towards the end of last year, I was given the opportunity to host a Healthy Baby Home Party through Seventh Generation’s Generation Good Community. It was so much fun being able to meet up with all my mom friends and learn about new healthy products for our children. I received free samples, BINGO game & materials, and free products to give out as prizes! My mom friends and I had so much fun and learned so much about products and paying closer attention to labels and what we are truly using with our children and families. This was an amazing opportunity for me to show others a brand like Seventh Generation that truly is a blessing to moms and every member of the family. I love being able to promote brands and their products that I truly feel make a difference!
It’s never easy being a parent. No one’s ever said that you were guaranteed more good days than bad, having to count to ten to calm yourself or that you wouldn’t cry over the smallest things. As I sit here in the waiting room of the dentist office, waiting on an update on how my little girl is doing, I find my anxiety starting to flare up. Anxiety is something I’ve been dealing with for over two years now. It’s not something I’m proud of or something I parade around to show off. It’s something I deal with on a daily basis and one that my family deals with as well. If someone would have told me that my first “big girl” job would bring on all of this; I would’ve said, ” Nah. Not me. I’ve got this.” However, that job, that good paying job mind you, brought on more trouble than it was worth. Which in turn caused me to walk away after seven months. Did I know then that me crying uncontrollably for hours at a time was me having a panic attack?! No I did not. Before any of that I couldn’t tell you what a panic attack was or what caused it. Let alone tell you how to stop it. During my undergrad I had to attend three seminars just so that I could retake an exam. As I sat there listening to a well-known professor talk about the benefits of breathing techniques, in a room full of strangers, I felt completely alone. It wasn’t until he asked the crowd what a panic attack was or if any of us had ever had a feeling of being completely overwhelmed. Most of the students in the room raised their hands, myself included. He told us about his own battles in life and the times he’s been knocked more than he’s gotten back up. He said a panic attack was your body’s reaction to a high amount of adrenaline. Your fight or flight kicks in and if there’s no immediate threat then your body goes into a panic due to the adrenaline rush. Makes sense once you think about it. There’s a lot of people, mostly around my age, that struggle with anxiety. Perhaps it’s our generation or the way we were raised. Maybe it’s even more so out of our control and it involves genetics. Whatever the reason, it’s not about how you struggle but about how you get through it and come out on top. I know easier said than done right? Believe me my medicine bottles in the cabinet say the same thing. I’ve even considered therapy or getting a service dog to see if that would help. Anything to just make these random feelings of dread go away. For the past couple of years when I find myself not wanting to do something I walk away. I just don’t do it. But when the dental assistant this morning told me it was best if we walked away while they got my daughter calmed down with laughing gas..That was the last thing I wanted to do. It’s one of the hardest things to do when it comes to your children. Hell, I can walk away from a lot of things but not my children. Hearing your crying and shaking child ask for you and tell you they want to go home absolutely breaks you as a parent and a human being. Perhaps it’s those moments in life that lift us up the most.
I hope everyone is enjoying the beginning of the first full week of Fall! Fall and Winter are my absolute favorites! The topic for this week’s blog post is College Courses with a side of a rant about them. This is something that I have experienced in many college courses and only a handful of times since starting Grad School. As most of you know I’m an early childhood major and I have been in the education field for 6 1/2 years. I’ve worked with a range of age groups from infants to 8th grade. I have two children of my own and we have decided to take the homeschool journey route. I am currently working on my Master’s Degree in Early Childhood in hopes to one day use my degree to become a professor at a local college or university. With having a lot of experience in the education field, I’m a supporter of group work and how beneficial it can be for children from early childhood to elementary to middle school and high school. I completely support group work in those grades as it helps develop social interactions and is great for emotional development. However, when you are taking a college course I do believe it’s time for group work to come to an end. For the most part, we are all adults and while I love learning from others with different perspectives, I’m also an adult and have responsibilities of my own. I’m also not like other college students as I two young children, I work part-time, I have bills to pay, and a spouse. I can’t help but feel like those complaining because I can’t meet on campus or I can’t go spend my afternoon in the library are going to be in for a big surprise when adulthood slaps them brutally in the face. Call me mean say whatever you will but I can’t be the only one who would rather spend an afternoon with my little ones instead of spending it in a crowded library on a campus with barely any parking listening to someone tell me what I already know. I just don’t see a point in having group work in college especially when you are taking an online course. When I am given the opportunity to teach college courses, I will not subject my students to unnecessary group work. Most of the time when you are put into groups, it’s just one person doing all the work anyways while everyone else gets a free ride.
The topic of my blog for this week is Change. Change in any shape,fashion, or form is not easy. A lot of people are afraid of change for many reasons. Sometimes it’s simply because it’s human nature to fear the unknown. I know in previous blog posts, that I’ve touched on this topic but I wanted to go into more details this time around. I believe as we grow older we change and evolve. Sometimes we change for the better and sometimes we change for the worse. People we once knew aren’t the same as they were before. Change isn’t easy because we tend to stick to what makes us safe and comfortable and accepting change would take us out of our comfort zone. Let me be the first to admit, I’ve always been afraid of change until the past few years. I think I’ve finally become my own person and become someone my children can be proud of. We all have obstacles that we face everyday. Some may be worse than others and some may be the same. Each person is different and things affect us all in different ways. Even with change, it’s important to never lose sight of who you are. Don’t conform just because others say you need to. Do it for yourself, be proud of who you are. I have family members and friends who put themselves down so easily and I really just wonder why. I’ll admit, I’ve found myself in that same way too before on many occasions. In the past couple of years, I’ve finally come into my own and have actually been living a happier and healthier life. I’m the type of person who stresses before there’s even stress to stress about. I always worry and I always think about everything that can go wrong instead of focusing when it all goes right. In this day and time, it’s important to be strong and independent. Being able to depend on others isn’t what it use to be. No one is going to help you unless you can help yourself. If people aren’t seeing you help yourself out of life’s difficult situations then they aren’t going to help you either. It’s all about making an effort and letting go of the things that don’t make you happy and letting go of the people who aren’t standing in your corner. Change is something we all go through multiple times throughout our lives.Writing this post, I’m reminded once again of my favorite quote. “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.” If we constantly worry about everything and lose our joy in life, then we’re missing out on so many of life’s precious moments. We are only travelers in this world and life gives us many souvenirs along the way. I want to be the type of woman who inspires others and who always gives them encouragement and lifts them up when they need it the most. As an educator, mother, wife, friend,blogger, student etc I’ve seen people tear each other down in many ways. Sadly, most of the time people who tear others down are only trying to make themselves feel better. Perhaps they don’t know what true happiness is. Perhaps they need a rude awakening. I want to inspire other moms and show them that even though change can be scary it might lead you down the path that’s been meant for you all along.
I chose this topic for one of my blog posts this week because it’s something I have experienced recently within the past couple of weeks. First of all, I want to start out with it’s human nature to be jealous. At some point in our lives, we have all been jealous of what someone else had or what they were going to get. Most of the time, I see people get more jealous over other people’s children. No one is perfect and just because whatever they had/have works for them doesn’t mean it would/will work for you too. As most of you know, I started homeschooling my children last week. My daughter is doing excellent! She can already do fractions, tell times, count money(coins), add & subtract, can read ,and knows the seasons. I’m not saying it hasn’t been a struggle and that we haven’t hit a few bumps in the road because we most certainly have. However, just because she can do all these things just in the first week or so doesn’t mean she’s better than anyone else or that she’s better than those who attend public/private school. It was her father & my decision to homeschool her and her brother. In my opinion, it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I see posts on my social media where parents are upset because their child has started school. I remember starting kindergarten and I cried the whole first day and my mom did too. It’s heartbreaking for both child and parent. I actually believe parents have a harder time adjusting to this new journey. However, just because your child had phase in days or started doing fun stuff first, doesn’t mean that my child isn’t. I made the decision after a couple of years of hearing others opinions and negative comments on how my child will be missing out on some of life’s important moments because I decided to homeschool her. I’ve heard comments that my children are going to hate me because they didn’t get that social interaction they needed starting at an early age and how they are going to be awkward or shy up into their adult years. I hate to say this, but they most certainly are wrong. You don’t have to like the decisions I make, Hell you don’t even have to agree with them. But you will respect them or you can find the door and walk right out of it. I guarantee my child won’t miss anything and they most certainly won’t struggle with you walking right out the same door you came in. My children are some of the best well-behaved children I have ever seen. I’m sure I’m a little bias because they are mine but I’ve been in the education field for almost seven years now and I’ve seen how a lot of other children behave. My parenting style isn’t the best and I make mistakes daily. I’m not sure I’m someone you even want to be jealous of. It’s a struggle everyday just like I mentioned in a previous post, parenting isn’t for the faint of heart. Jealous can be a cruel thing in this world and it’s something I believe is seen more now than it ever has been before. We all get jealous and that’s okay. It’s human nature and it’s something we are going to have to deal with. I think if I was so jealous of someone, I would try to think about all the positive things in my life and how each person, memory, material thing I have is why I’m blessed. If we spend our whole life being jealous of others, we will never appreciate what we have and will miss out on some of life’s most precious moments. I’m going to leave this blog post with one of my favorite quotes.
This week we started a new adventure–HomeSchooling. This is my daughter’s first year of school as well as my first year doing the homeschooling. If you had asked me before I had children if I would ever homeschool my kids the answer most likely would have been no. I attended public school from elementary all the way through high school. I never had an issue, always made friends, received good grades etc. I thought that going to a public school was a great way for social interactions and it helped with social/cognitive development. However, here in the past few years with all of the shootings and the placement of Common Core, school isn’t what it used to be. Things have definitely changed. I have always thought there were two things that shouldn’t be taught in school; the first being religion and the second being sex education. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s important to teach our children about religion and about safe sex. However, I think educating children on these two topics really falls on the parents. If a school teaches one religion, they have to teach them all. It’s always been better if parents are the teachers when it comes to sex education because you never want your child getting the wrong information or being misguided. We all have different beliefs and I’m a firm believer of not pushing your opinions/views on others. It’s okay to have different opinions and beliefs. That is one of the many things that make us all human. It’s okay to be unique and to not fit in. Sex is highly overrated and it’s definitely not something to take lightly. It’s a big decision and it can have major consequences. I would rather I teach my children those two topics so that I knew they were getting the right information. Unfortunately, we aren’t always going to be here to guide our children. That’s one of the many reasons for my post on how our parents give us roots but still have to set us free. I see so many of my friends on social media, sharing pictures of their child’s first day of school and it melts my heart. It’s an emotional rollercoaster being a parent. It’s definitely not for the faint of heart. Watching our children grow up in front of us is so rewarding but also heartbreaking at the same time. Now, I know what my parents went through all those years ago on my first day of school. It’s actually what they still probably go through on a daily basis. Homeschooling is a new journey for our family and it’s one that I will take pride in no matter how it turns out. If it ends up not working out or something happens then at least we can say we tried and it just wasn’t what was best for our family. Homeschooling isn’t for everyone and it might not even be for us. I do think it’s worth a try plus where else am I not going to be over qualified to do?! You have all this education under your belt but yet employers want people with experience. How do you suppose I get experience in the first place when no one will hire me without it?! As most people know, I am currently a grad student working on my Master’s Degree in Early Childhood Education and in the past I’ve been told that I’m overqualified for a position that I have applied for. It’s hard to take sometimes and it’s easier to take a step back and try a different path. Perhaps that one wasn’t meant for us and we are stuck at a crossroads. In the past couple of months, I’ve had the same question presented to me and today I believe I have found out why. The question is, “How do you do it?”. To elaborate, it’s more of how do you go to school full time, raise two children, take care of a household, work part-time/full time, and homeschool?! I would love to sit here and say it’s because I’m a badass but in all reality, I’m human just like everyone else. I have many flaws and I make mistakes daily but I’ll never give up and that’s a promise. I would like for my children to see that anything is possible and to never give up. Homeschool isn’t for everyone and I’m sure there’s a lot of families that would love to be able to have the opportunity to homeschool their children. I want to give it a try and I want to be able to watch my children learn new things everyday. To quote a good friend, The Lorax, “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”
I’ve had a lot on my mind the past few weeks and that’s one of the reasons as to why I haven’t been updating. Thinking about it now though, I think it might have been better for me to write on the blog about everything that’s going through my mind. I chose the title of today’s blog post because this is something I am currently experiencing in my life. Surprisingly, I’m not experiencing this with my own children but with my family members. I never really understood what unconditional love was until I had my children. A mother’s love runs deep for her children and it’s something that should never fail her or them. It’s hard letting stuff go whether it’s relationships, a lost loved one, friendship etc. However, it’s even harder letting go of your child and allowing them to be the person they were meant to be. I’ve always been the quiet one and I’ve always listened and followed directions. I’ve never been the one to question authority or to go against people’s wishes. In all, I’m what most people call a “people pleaser”. I would rather see everyone else happy than seeing myself happy. Ever since I was younger, I’ve been put on a pedestal and everyone has always had high expectations for me. I was going to college and I was going to wait until marriage to have children and I was going to fall in love with someone I met in college and live happily ever after. However, life has a way of surprising us and putting exactly what we need in front of us. It’s up to us to grab it and run with it. So, that’s what I did. I fell in love at a young age and been in love every since. My love actually grows stronger each day especially when I look into the eyes of my children and see their father staring back at me. It’s like that old saying, We can’t help who we fall in love with. It just happens. We have two amazing children together who I would give my life for and we are ready to start trying for another baby. It’s okay if it’s not the right time for everyone else because it’s the right time for us and our family. I’ve recently learned that once we reach a certain age, it’s time for our parents to let us go and make our own mistakes. I know there’s not a single parent on this planet that wants their child to screw up and make mistakes. However, that’s a part of growing up and becoming who you are. As much as I love my children, I can’t control them forever. Sure, as they get older there’s going to be plenty of things that I’m not going to agree with. I will agree to disagree with them and say my peace and be done with it. Whatever, they decide to do after that is up to them and I will support them and be happy for them no matter what. If it all falls apart for them, I will stand by their side and be their support and protector for as long as they need. We are all human and we aren’t meant to agree on everything. Parents should be proud that they raised a strong, independent, strong-willed person who is more than capable of making their own decisions and living with the consequences. It’s hard letting go and I know from experience that it’s human nature to hold on as tight as we can to those we love. I’m not saying never talk to your parents or family members. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t voice your opinions to your children. I’m simply saying that as parents you gave us roots and now it’s time for us to spread our wings and fly. Watch us make you proud and even if we mess up accept us and support us anyways. It took me 25 years but I’ve finally learned that it’s not meant for me to please everyone. If I continue to worry about what everyone thinks then I’m never going to be happy. I would rather disappoint everyone then to disappoint myself again. I’ve heard a saying for my whole life and it never really clicked until now. “Those who matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter.”